Over the last few months I’ve experienced some perspective-creating moments… the kinds of situations that caused me to stop and think about the power of words and the relationships in my life. Even more, these instances, in many ways, created an opportunity for me to contemplate the legacy I’m fostering through the way I “do” life and how it’s seen through the eyes of my loved ones and friends.

After spending some time reflecting, I started going down THAT path — you know the one… something like, “What if I died tomorrow… would Brian know — would my girls know — would my family know — would my friends know — would everyone in my circle of life know — how I feel about them?”

Filling in that blank is not always an easy answer. 

Even deeper, am I living my life in a state of joy expressing love, gratitude, appreciation and happiness? 

I find meaning in music, so in the somewhat cheesy jukebox of my mind I’m hearing, “Live Like You Were Dying” by Tim McGraw, “If Tomorrow Never Comes” by Garth Brooks, and even “One Sweet Day” by Mariah Carey/Boys II Men while contemplating… 

Would X know how her words of encouragement have always given me the courage to overcome adversity? Would X know that the late night conversation changed by life? Would X know that even though we don’t talk everyday, I love him so much and I’m thankful for the life lessons he shared? Would X know that when she called me to grab that cup of coffee that I was at one of the lowest points of my adult life? Would X (who I haven’t seen for years) know how her friendship defined one of the best parts of my childhood?

No one likes to think about their own mortality, but my mom always says, “No one gets outta here alive” (morbid, but certainly true). While it’s a scary thought, I’ve decided I don’t want to leave anything on the table unsaid.

It’s my goal to start living my life out loud. Love more. Fear less. Reveal more. Hide less. Encouraging more. Deter less. Motivating, Giving, Listening, Embracing, Celebrating, Cheering, Appreciating, Uplifting, Thanking and Reminding  - all more. Not holding back.

I love the scene from The Bucket List where Morgan Freeman asks Jack Nicolson to reflect upon his life by answering two important questions:

1. “Have you found joy in your life?” and 
2. “Does your life bring joy to others?” 

I believe the key to finding that joy and bringing it to others is living in a state expressing love to everyone you interact with… it’s as simple and difficult as that. 

I’ve had a card sitting out on the kitchen counter for a week or so. It reads, “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”

It’s a personal challenge for me. It reminds me not to wait. I don’t want you to wait either. Today is the day to begin.

Today, my brain is spinning “Live Like We’re Dying” by Kris Allen. “Why don’t we say I love you enough…’til it’s too late? It’s not too late!”

Anyone remember that commercial from the 80’s with the tagline, “Never let them see you sweat?” Well, this is me…sweating…and I can’t stand sweat. Especially the kind of sweat that’s caused by fear — the crazy, dream-crushing fear — that is talking it’s way into my heart and telling me to pump the brakes on my dreams.

This time, I’m pushing back. So, here goes (imagine me saying this as I am jumping out of an airplane)…

“In an effort to live the authentic life I imagine for myself, one that’s free of limitations and full of love, I’m looking my fear in the eye and saying… LET’S DOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS!”

Here’s the backstory:

About two years ago, a seed was planted in my heart. The initial thought was sparked through conversations with my husband (Brian) and friends, then it grew to something tangible. I put pen to paper and started furiously jotting down ideas of a gathering place online where people could go to be motivated, share ideas, get involved, and be inspired to love others. 

With many lessons still to learn, self-doubt checked my ideas at the door on attempt #1; most of my notes went into the garbage. 

Looking back, I believe the idea was a result of my journey of self-discovery. As I walk my path through life, it has become apparent to me that everyone in this world has a heart-shaped hole inside of them, and this hole is only filled by the willingness to love and the desire to be loved by others. Love is all there is in this world. And, eventually, I’ve learned that loving others without expectations is the key to true happiness. 

Just over a year ago, a flood of ideas came rushing back to me about this online community of love. This time, I took action and got the ball rolling and gave it a name - SpreadLurve.com. Why SpreadLurve? To me, LURVE was always a fun word that I used in place of LOVE, but it came to mean something more when I put it in the context of my mission. LURVE is interchangable with LOVE. When you add the ‘UR,’ it’s a reminder that you are (UR) loved. LOVE + UR = LURVE. 

Brian and I registered the domain name and built a website, set up a blog, a Facebook page, a Twitter account, the whole shebang. This time, paired with my amazing husband, we researched, blogged, Facebooked and tweeted for about a couple solid months. Slowly, I lost momentum. I let life get in the way, and Brian (no matter how hard he tried) couldn’t push me along.

Naysayers crept into my concious thinking, and I believed their “truth” instead of my own. I quit doing things to move the project forward. Insecurity checked me at the door on attempt #2. I took the website, blog, Facebook page and Twitter account off-line.

One year later, it’s clear to me that if my vision was derailed by folks that weren’t supportive or didn’t catch the vision, I probably wasn’t doing it for the right reasons. Another life lesson.Another light bulb moment.

When you do things for the approval or validation of others, success and/or longevity will elude you. I now know that it was a clear message that I needed to grow myself.

Today, I am ready to let my love light shine. For me.

SpreadLurve.com is back. It’s a non-perfect, ever-evolving work in progress. I can’t wait to see what it ultimately becomes…even if it’s only a tool I use for myself as a motivation to remember that my life is about love.

Those who know me best always hear me say (usually with a smile), “run until tackled…” So, this is me, running — and sweating — and asking anyone who’s reading this to hold me accountable, and maybe to even throw a block for me when the tacklers get too close!

Now, pass the deoderant!